Lost Grip
by Rin-kun
Summary: Pain is hiding behind that sweet face. A girl is being swept away by her own pain... Who will save her? RinKohaku Chapter 4 is an IMPORTANT note
1. Rin: Problem

Title: Lost Grip

Author: Rin Hiwatari

Disclaimer: I don't know Inu-Yasha. All I own a pink blinking earring. (I don't think I own the plot line because I might have seen it before, but I LOVE my version)

" …Blah…"- talking

'… Blah…'- thinking

's P.O.V.- person's point of view

Rin's P.O.V:

I've never been good enough for Lord Sesshoumaru. I don't know why I ever thought I was. I'm positive that the only reason he resurrected me was because I helped him live. He doesn't care; I was foolish to believe he did. He doesn't love me, not like I love him. My heart rips apart around him knowing he doesn't know how I feel, but if I tell him he'll kill me or worse never talk to me. After being consumed by my love for him, I've decided that this is my end.

It's been many years since I met Sesshoumaru and I'm now seventeen. A lot has happened between Sesshoumaru, Jaken, and me, like teaching me to fight and to use spells. Two days ago, we fought against Inu-Yasha's team with their newest addition… uhh… Ka… Ko… Sango's brother. He's a great fighter and even though I'm scared of him when we fight, I'm terrified of when he talks to me. He talks like he knows me, like he wants to help me. But that can't be true.

Who would care about a dirt girl like me? A girl torn and worn down. A girl unworthy of love, kindness and friendship. Humans like me should be dead. Lord Sesshoumaru must have been at some rare moment of weakness when he revived me or maybe my fake smile that kept my deep trauma hidden was really that convincing. It doesn't matter, though.

I have to end it for Sesshoumaru because I'm unfit to love and care for him and to receive his kindness. He's been so good to me and all I do is cause him more trouble. Sesshoumaru will never admit it, but I know he wish he didn't revive me that day. So this is it. I'm going to die with the very dagger Sesshoumaru gave me. I admit I'm scared but I won't let that stop me. I'm trebling as I drag the dagger deep into my left wrist. Damn, it hurts but I have to do it. I feel more incisions decorating my wrists as my vision blurs. I hear someone coming but I can't tell who. Darkened figures are coming toward me, but who is it. I don't care. I'm crying and I'll never see Sesshoumaru again. Everything is going black and the world starts to spin as I feel my body crash to the ground. It's over.

Rin: Well, I hope you all like it… The chapters are going to be about this length, maybe longer, maybe shorter. Each chapter is a new point of view. Well read and review.


	2. Found

Title: Lost Grip

Author: Rin Hiwatari

Disclaimer: I don't know Inu-Yasha. All I own a pink blinking earring. (I don't think I know the plot line because I might have seen it before, but I LOVE my version)

" …Blah…"- talking

'… Blah…'- thinking

's P.O.V.- person's point of view

Normal P.O.V:

A fragile figure collided with the cooling earth. A group of people gathered around the girl, some of them masking looks of worry.

" Isn't she that 'Rin' girl that's with Sesshoumaru?" The monk questioned.

" I don't care who she is, she needs medicine, now," A young black-haired boy stated quickly.The boy picked her up and lifted her to his back and started to carry her as the other party members followed. " There's a town around the corner. We need to hurry." After about ten minutes of sprinting the team got the teen to a doctor, her wrist still seeping out her crimson life. " Please be ok."

Rin: Sorry the chapters are so short, but each chapter is in a new P.O.V. so some will be long and some short but if I post really short ones like this that means the next will be up soon…. Sorry again, please R&R.


	3. Rin: Awaken?

Title: Lost Grip

Author: Rin Hiwatari

Disclaimer: I don't know Inu-Yasha. All I own a pink blinking earring. (I don't think I know the plot line because I might have seen it before, but I LOVE my version)

" …Blah…"- talking

'… Blah…'- thinking

's P.O.V.- person's point of view

Rin's P.O.V:

I hear people around me, but I can't open my eyes I'm too tired. I heard them say I'm going to be fine. That the cuts weren't deep enough to kill me. Heh… I guess I hesitated too much.

"Please be ok." Why does that voice sound so familiar? Do I know him? I can feel him run his hand though my hair as he talks to me. How does he even know I'm listening or if I care? Could it be that… that he's trying to comfort me? Why would he? What's in it for him? Does he really expect nothing? No, humans are like that. They only do things to get something from others.

My mind's racing with questions and none that can be answered until I wake up. I'm desperately trying to awaken. I feel my eyelids twitch… There they go again. Maybe I will wake up… Another twitch… It's hard, they're so heavy, but I need to get up…

As I open them all the way, light blurs my vision and I feel like crawling back into the darkness. I blink slowly a few times and the images clear.

" Good morning." It's him! That boy I fought against. Ka… Damn it what's his name… Sango's brother. It was him that comforted me? No, it couldn't have been, he probably just came in.

" How are you feeling?" His voice is soft and seems to kind. Why, what's he after? Does he want to know where Sesshoumaru is, to attack him? I'll be on guard.

" Fine. Where am I?" My voice is somewhat cold and to me it sounds a little slurred, but he just smiles.

" We're in Ayame village. Your name's Rin, right? Well, I'm Kohaku. You hurt yourself pretty bad so we brought you here." KOHAKU! That's it! What an idiot, of course I hurt myself badly, I was trying to kill myself. He's smiling at me again. Damn, would he just stop that! That smile burns under my flesh and awakens something I can't place. A feeling of warmth and of security. He makes me want to scream at him to leave me the hell alone and at the same time he makes me want to cling to him and beg him to save me from my life. How can one person make me so confused, yet keep me feeling so secure? What is he? He can't be a human… a human cannot bewitch me like he does.

" Why did… you help me?" I sound like an idiot! But I need to know why my enemy is helping me. I need to know if my action around him will put Lord Sesshoumaru's life in danger… but then again he could probably kick there asses.

My muscles tighten went I see that damned smile again. I think he's taunting me. He knows that his smile awakens a feeling in me that I can't recognize. Something forbidden or dangerous or even devil-like. " I helped you because you needed help. I don't care that Inu-Yasha and Sesshoumaru don't get along, that has nothing to do with you and me." I don't know what it is? Maybe I'm getting light-headed, because he voice is starting to make me safe. I feel like flying.

" If it has nothing to do with us then why do we fight?" I smirk acting slightly dazed.

" You know, we don't have to. We could be friends---" I know he said more, but that's all I heard as I felt my head crash to he chest. My world is engulfed in darkness once again.

Rin: ok a little longer.. hehe … don't hate me… but the next chapter will be up quickly. I promise…


	4. IMPORTANT!

Hey anyone that still reads this story. As you know I don't update quickly but I'm planning on a few quick updates soon if you're still interested. SORRY SO MUCH!

Koneko Rin-kun


	5. Kohaku: Perversion

Kohaku's P.O.V:

Rin's body falls to my chest. Wow, she's really light. Maybe Sesshoumaru trains her too hard, I mean, she's only like seventeen. She passed out and her fever came back. Sweat mixes with her raven hair. She's beautiful like that. Yes, I have liked her since I first met her about eight years ago. She was the cutest little girl I'd ever seen. She looked about two or three years younger then me, roughly eight. She was picking flowers. Tons of colors. Blue, red, purple, pink, white, and so many others. She looked like a small angel accompanied by a demon lord and his underling.

I sat in the same tree all day watching her and into the next, until she came up and asked me to play with her. She didn't question why I'd been staring at her. She didn't feel threaten around me. The way she put such faith in creatures was amazing. We talked until nightfall. Why'd She change so much? And how?

Now, here she was, lying on my chest, suffering. Why did she try to kill herself? Did Sesshoumaru do something to her? Did she really feel that intimidated and terrified? I 'd do anything to protect her from anything that causes her pain. Damn, I got it bad. She started to pant. Damn, Dirty thoughts… DIRTY THOUGHTS!!!! I am such a little pervert.

But her fever is getting worse. I need to do something now. I set her on the bed and ran to get a cold washrag; I don't know what else I can do for her. After changing her bandages, a quickly go and find Kagome. She can help she's from the future. Of course, Inuyasha complains. I want to tell him to just shut up. I mean she fucking injured; sure they're self-inflicted, but still. Kagome helps me, YAY! Ok, I'm weird. I don't care what I'm like right now all I want is for Rin to be ok.

Kagome and Inuyasha follow me as I nearly run back the way I came. "Kohaku, wait outside… I promise I'll take care of Rin, ok?" Kagome smiles, I can't help but nod though all I want is to be in there with Rin right now. I trudged to the porch, yes I am sulking. I don't know how long I was sitting there but the sun starts to set as I close my eyes. As I drift to sleep, all I can think about is Rin…


End file.
